For 12 year old Alexander Cooper, everyday is a bad day. And his family thinks he's being silly because they never have a bad day. On the day before his 12th birthday party, he learns that another boy is having a party of his own and everyone is going to it.
And another kid punks him online. So at midnight of his birthday, he wishes that his whole family can have a bad day. And things for the whole family go bad, his mom's car is broken so they have to share a car, his sister has a cold and has to go on stage, his older brother, who's hoping to get his driver's license and to bring his girlfriend to the prom, has to deal with his girlfriend's snootiness and fails to get his license, his mom has a crisis at work which could cost her her job, and his dad who has a job interview has to bring his younger brother with him but because his pacifier is broken he can't stop crying. Alex feels responsible.
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Picking up where left off, newly-turned vampire Bella awakens from her bite-induced hangover to discover she's in possession of a natty set of super skills - running, climbing, super strength and lip-biting, along with a weirdly CG-ed hybrid daughter, who's ageing at an advanced rate. That, combined with her best pal Jacob's (Taylor Lautner) insistence that he's deeply in love with the two-day-old (it's a werewolf thing) ought to be enough to fry the mind of any mother. Not the new Mrs Cullen. Apparently born to be a vampire, Bella takes it all in her not insubstantial strides, much to the amusement of hubby Edward. But then fortune-telling vamp Alice (Ashley Greene) drops more crockery in slo-mo shock, and announces that trouble is afoot. A member of the vampire rulers aka the Vulturi has spotted the child, and, confused about its origins, has convinced the evil leader Aro (Michael Sheen) that a crime has been committed. So the Vulturi head to the town of Forks to punish the new parents.
Fortunately, the Cullens have a plan - get all their mates from around the world to see that the kid has a human side, and hopefully the villains will leave them alone. It's clearly not a plan from the desk of General Patton. Still, the Cullens' trips around the country (sometimes by super-fast running, sometimes by Volvo) offer us the chance to meet a plethora of new bloodsuckers with special powers.
And a vampire family from Ireland, replete with green hats. From element-controlling vamps to those with electricity-projecting hands, it's like the undead. With even the werewolves siding up with their former-sworn enemies, and the Vulturi mad keen on a fight, an epic battle appears to be in the making. And then, in a literal blink of an eye, it all goes.a bit Dallas. The saga is renowned for not having an epic, cinematically friendly climax, so screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg foolhardily contrives a requisite Hollywood ending while simultaneously trying to stay faithful to the book. It's a writing cheat of the worst kind.
On the bright side, the plot moves along at a decent pace, avoiding sentimentality until the final frames, while hitting all the expected beats. The cast are more than comfortable in their characters' skins, with Lautner's torso baring now played as an in-joke to good effect. It's just a shame the central conceit is that it's all just one big misunderstanding. As Twilight movies go, it's the kind of plot that non Twi-hards can appreciate: the villains are coming and the heroes need to prepare. The love triangle has been broken, and the moody teenage stuff is no longer applicable. But while the initiated and well-versed will have little issue with the big finish, breaking the Bobby Ewing rule of writing (or even Nic Cage's ) is a let down for the rest.
But this is the end, and pleasing non-converts is no longer an issue. Twilight fans will certainly enjoy BD2's faithful approach to the tricky-to-film source material and celebrate a triumphant ending to their beloved saga. Now let's all just turn around and go home.